What is your reaction?
Everyone acts or reacts to a situation and this is determined by our thinking. An action is something we do because we have thought out the situation in advance and can therefore act calmly to the situation. A reaction is what we do because of an unexpected occurrence for which we have no preparation. We are therefore thrown into our fight or flight mode by a big adrenaline dump.
I’ve mentioned before that it is far better to make a decision “at high noon on a park bench” than to have to react to a situation. Making a decision in advance as to how we will handle a specific situation does not constitute worrying or attracting negative things.
Sitting down and thinking about various scenarios that could happen is no different than learning to drive a car - you find out the various normal things that could happen and then come up with a method of dealing with each specific instance. After we have been driving for a while, we don’t think about each specific moves we must make to go from point A to point B, and we don’t think about what might happen to affect our travel, but having seen most things a time or two in our past, we draw upon those experiences to meet the occasional hiccup.
This is all about what is going on between our ears as we have previously acted out most everything that can happen to us in our daily lives. That occasional hiccup is what causes the most trouble because we have to figure out “on the fly” how to deal with the situation.
That is why it is always better to think ahead to what the possible outcomes could be and figure out how to deal with each should they arrive. That way, we aren’t blind sided when the event does take place.
I guess one could relate it to the little ditty about planning - Proper Prior Planning Prevents Poor Performance. Or “Failing to Plan is Planning to Fail“. In either case the result is that we have a game plan in advance because we have used what is between our ears to avoid stress that can result from the unexpected.
We don’t stress about events we have no knowledge of even though they take place around us every day. It is only once we learn of them or they happen to us that we have the opportunity to become stressed. Some people I know get abnormally upset about things over which they have no control and this leads to huge amounts of stress in their lives. Obsessing about something over which you have no control is a great way to bring stress into our lives. It is probably also a good way to ruin our health and well being.
So here is the key to managing stress; begin in the mind. It is not enough to know that some life changing event has happened, but knowing that it happened - even to someone else is the beginning of managing it. Once we know about an event, we choose to either allow it to affect us or not, and that is all in our head.
Things that cause stress can often be solved, you change a flat tire, take a different route to the store, make a U-turn, etc., but of some things cannot be solved, or at least not immediately. Health problems may not be cured simply by going to the doctor but must be dealt with over a period of time and may never be solved, but it is how we deal with the situation in our minds that determines the level of stress over the situation.
Managing the stress reaction is a key step to resolving the issue.
It is important to recognize a stress causing situation and think things through correctly. It isn’t useful to try to solve every issue all at the same time but take small bites of stress issues at any time. Kind of like eating that elephant, you know, one bite at a time. So try to concentrate on one situation at a time and try to come up with a solution in a short period of time. Don’t dwell on the issue if you can’t immediately come up with a solution. After a couple of minutes of concentrated effort, if you haven’t arrived at a solution, put it aside and move on to something else. If you have truly concentrated on finding a solution without coming to a conclusion then moving on and thinking about something else allows our subconscious to deal with the issue and come to a conclusion at a later date.
Everybody has stress, it is how we deal with it or what we will stress over that determines the quality of our lives.
This is the key to managing stress - what events we choose to deal with also determines how we have to deal with them.
Get your Free Stress Management Report for how to manage stress.
January 19th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
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