Can Stress Ruin Your Marriage?

A major cause of divorce is stress in the relationship.  There can be all sorts of sources of this stress including financial and emotional situations.  If we can learn to manage these stressful situations instead of letting them build up until we think we can no longer live with each other, we will be much better off.  Better off both financially and emotionally.

Better off financially because there is always some money wasted in a divorce - either to pay for attorneys or to pay for separate living quarters.  To say nothing of the additional expense if there are children in the family and one of the mates chooses or has to move away to get a job to support themselves.

Better off emotionally because invariably you find out just a short time down the road that your ex partner wasn’t so bad after all and probably much better than what you’ve managed to run across since the divorce.  Unfortunately many “find” somebody else before the divorce is even final making it difficult for a reconciliation to take place if that might have been possible.  Generally in a divorce, one party is totally devastated by it and will do anything to get back together while the other is running away as hard as they can.

Sometimes it seems that a divorce is the best way to resolve the stress between the two parties yet as noted above, this may be the most destructive path to take.  Face it, at one time the other party hung the moon - could they again with a reduction in the stress that is causing all the havoc?

Is it worth investigating ways to relieve the stress that causes many divorces?  One major source of stress is finances.  Sure, everyone has financial difficulties from time to time but the solution is not a divorce - that can be financial disaster.  Worrying all day long about how you will pay your bills is not going to solve the problem and only leads to stress on your relationship.  Figuring out how to meet the financial needs of the marriage is one thing that can bring couples closer together.  There are always things that can be done to cut back on expenditures.  You don’t need a new car every three years, or a television in every room.  You can drive that three year old car another year to save some money, or sell it and buy something with lower payments.  Sell off one or more of the TVs.  They just waste electricity even if they aren’t “on”.  If necessary, get a second job - part time or full time if necessary.

Knowing you are doing something together to cut back on expenses can be beneficial to the relationship and to your peace of mind.  The experts say that the way to get out of debt is after paying the bills each month then start paying down on the smaller bills so you get them paid off more quickly.  Then take the money you were paying on those debts and apply it to the next larger debt.  In no time flat, you will be out of debt, or so close to it that you have no more financial stress in your marriage.

Of course this only works if you do it before things get so out of hand that you are totally stressed out and in the middle of a messy divorce.

Another divorce causing situation is the method used to raise children.  One parent will undoubtedly be stricter than the other.  And depending on the personalities involved, there will be clashes as to how strict or lienent to be with the children.  This is because the partners were raised differently.  Discussing the situation and possible compromises are the way to prevent a divorce caused by different expectations when raising children.

Working together as a team is important in all aspects of marriage and is the best way to keep it strong.  When you work as a team, outside forces can’t beat you down.  As the Bible says, Two are better than one, for if one falls the other can lift him up.

Be sure to communicate your fears and expectations to your partner.  Don’t keep it all bottled up as it will only boil over when you can’t keep it in any longer.  Better to let off a little steam periodically than to have a big explosion at some point.  Knowing how to deal with the daily stresses of life and marriage will make it stronger and more peaceful.

If you need more information on Managing Stress, check here.